I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
