You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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