im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
