I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize