Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
