So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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