So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
