She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
