don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
