you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
