hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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