At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
