Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
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