Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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