when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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