I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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