I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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