no, he came in my armpit
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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