i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
