Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
