stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
