why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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