I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
