I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
