She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
