Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize