grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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