Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I had to cum in my sink.
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