At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
