You were right. It hurts to walk today.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
