btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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