You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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