so explain again why im purple
no
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
