New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
