He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
