Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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