google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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