Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
