I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize