Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Randomize
