Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
