We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
