just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
