I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
