FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hippo gnu deer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
