oh god the rape fog is back!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
