Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
