I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
