I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
