i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize