Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
