I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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