someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
