yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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