I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize