Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
