well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
