we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
