i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
