I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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