dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
