dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Houston, we have a squirter
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
