I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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