This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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