i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
