Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just pee around me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
