Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Bodia hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(740): View more from Ohio

Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.

Fav 34 5786 1012
share tweet
(631): View more from New York

Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk

Fav 18 1318 4969
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(972): View more from Texas

I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed

Fav 8 4095 1410
share tweet
(917): View more from New York City

I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM

Fav 5 3329 1090
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".

Fav 5 976 1927
share tweet
(618): View more from Illinois

I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.

Fav 6 3211 1038
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(209): View more from California

His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.

Fav 9 1671 887
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(425): View more from Washington

And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you

Fav 0 80 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(931): View more from Tennessee

how do do this?

(1-931): View more from Tennessee

do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?

(931): View more from Tennessee

keep making boys cry?

Fav 0 13 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT