But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize