I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
