Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize