..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's always time for handjobs
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
